i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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