You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
