On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
