I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
