he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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