Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
