How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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