Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
