I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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