I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
