laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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