so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
