Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
