Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
