And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
