Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
