I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
