i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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