Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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