I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
