watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
