is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
