My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
