From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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