You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
