remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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