people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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