the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
