it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
