im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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