Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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