This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
