im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
