found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
