It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your cock deserves a montage
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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