moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
