if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
