i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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