Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
