why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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