Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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