i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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