Is it normal to miss your booty call?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
