I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
