I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
