She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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