put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
pray to the hookup gods
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
