Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
