I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
