just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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