She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
