someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
