first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
