and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
